


In Between

by Ben_Solos_Writing_Avenger_203



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy, star wars the rise of skywalker
Genre: Afterlife, Ben Solo Deserved Better, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, F/M, Fix-It, I sobbed while writing this, Post TROS, Post-Canon Fix-It, Post-Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Redeemed Ben Solo, Reylo fix it fic, Sad, Sad with a Happy Ending, Soft Ben Solo, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker Fix-It
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-02
Updated: 2020-01-17
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:07:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22084639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ben_Solos_Writing_Avenger_203/pseuds/Ben_Solos_Writing_Avenger_203
Summary: An alternative (happy!) ending for TROS.Please let me know if I should write part 2 :)
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey & Ben Solo, Rey & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 17
Kudos: 107





	1. Chapter 1

When Ben came to, he knew that he was dead. White mist seemed to cover the world and apart from that – nothing.

“Ben.”

He whirled around. His mother was standing behind him, her silhouette emitted a blue glow. She gave him a smile full of joy and sadness at the same time and opened her arms for an embrace.

“Mother”, he whispered and pulled her into his arms. She was so small. Tears were running down his cheeks, he noticed.

He finally let go of her.

“Mother, I –“

“No”, she interrupted. “I know that you want to ask my forgiveness, but there is nothing to forgive. I’m so, so proud of you, Ben. I saw what you did. I was with you, the whole time.”

She touched his cheek.

“I will cross over now, to your father and my brother. Will you come with me, Ben?”

He shook his head without hesitation. Ben knew his mother could tell what he was about to say, but he continued, anyway.

“I can’t leave, mother. Not yet. There is something I need to do, first.”

Leia nodded her head, and there was nothing but love and understanding in her eyes.

* * *

She was as beautiful as ever as she kneeled down in the sand, the red light of the binary sunset tinting her hair in an auburn hue. Ben felt as if he could burst of happiness, seeing her alive. The dread when he’d climbed out of the abyss on Exegol, only to find her cold and broken body on the ground, her eyes unseeing, that beautiful light forever vanished… he pushed those thoughts away.

He watched as she carefully laid down the two lightsabers – Luke’s and Leia’s – into the little hole she’d dug and buried them in the soft sands of Tattooine. 

She hadn’t noticed him yet. When the little burial was done – for a split second, Ben wondered why she hadn’t buried anything of him, too – she stood up straight, her face glowing in the last sunlight of the day. Ben wondered what she’d do now, when an old woman came by, her eopie trotting along behind her as she led it on the reins. She froze in her tracks as her gaze finally fell on Rey.

“It has been so long since I’ve seen a single soul around here”, she told Rey with a scratch voice. “Who are you, girl?”

“I’m Rey.”

A little pause. “Rey who?”

Ben was a few metres behind Rey, but he could feel her small smile.

“Rey Solo.”

The old woman nodded and carried on, the eopie following behind. Ben and Rey, who still hadn’t noticed him, watched them vanish behind the nearest dune.

“Solo, huh?”, Ben finally broke the silence and Rey whirled around. When she saw him, her expression went from shock over joy over grief and finally settled on something in between.

“Ben”, she whispered, taking in his ghostly silhouette, the blue hue surrounding him. Dead or not, his heart melted as he took her in as well.

Tears were streaming down her face and he was at her side in the beat of a heart.

“Please don’t cry, sweetheart”, he murmured, gently touching her cheek and wiping away her tears that were still flowing. 

“You buried their sabers.”

“I made one of my own”, she smiled at him through the tears still streaming out of her hazel eyes. It broke his heart to see her cry. She held up a new saber that looked as if the hilt was made of her old staff. Which probably was the case. As she ignited it, the blade shone in a soft yellow.

Ben gave her a smile full of pride.

“Will you stay here?” If she chose to stay here, back in an isolated desert… the thought broke him. He couldn’t let her do this.

Rey didn’t answer his question; instead, she whispered one of her own.

“Will you cross over?” It came hesitantly, he could feel how much she dreaded the answer. The Bond between them was still there, still buzzing with life.

Ben shook his head. “If you let me, I’ll stay with you. I told you that you’d never be alone. So, if you let me, I’ll be with you, wherever you choose to go next.”

She gave him another one of her radiant smiles.

“I really hoped you’d say that.” She closed the distance between them and raised a hand to trace the outline of his cheekbone, the other hand tangling in his black strands. It felt a little like touching the surface of a lake, Rey thought.

“Because I’m on my way to meet an old friend, on Takodana”, she continued.

He furrowed his brows. The binary suns had nearly set now, the moon was rising, its white light mingling with Ben’s own blue shimmer.

“To Maz?”, he asked confusedly.

Rey nodded. The beaming smile never left her face.

“I talked to Maz when I returned from Exegol that day”, she carried on with her explanation, her voice brittle as the memories flooded her mind. Ben could feel her grief flooding through the Bond between them. “And I begged her for a favour. She commed me today.”

Now it was happiness again that Rey emanated through their connection; pure happiness that lit up her whole soul, and his.

“And what did Maz tell you?”

“She found it, Ben. It’s possible, because of our Bond in the Force. Maz found a way to bring you back to me.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 2, as I promised :) Sorry it took me so long, I hope you like it! <3

The journey to Takodana hadn’t taken long, and only a few hours and a jump through hyperspace later, Rey was sitting in Maz’ new tavern – the old one had been destroyed by Kylo Ren’s attack when he’d kidnapped her in the woods just outside.

It felt like a lifetime ago. Rey couldn’t believe she’d fallen in love with the man behind the creepy mask and that in the end, he had given his own life to save hers.

“The journey to the realm of death is not an easy one, and I’ve never heard of anyone who has returned”, Maz warned her again as she set down a plate full of exotic food in front of Rey, who was far too anxious to eat anything.

“But you told me it was possible.”

Maz nodded with a deep frown of concern. “In theory. From what you told me about the Bond, I can only deduce that Palpatine was right. It’s a dyad. I haven’t found much about these kinds of connections, but Ben Solo is still tied to you, even in death. Every Force ghost could bind itself to a Force-sensitive, but a dyad in the Force has a life force of its own, not unlike the life force he gave to save you”, Maz continued to explain.

“That’s how Palpatine was able to come back”, Rey whispered, trying hard to push the flood of memories of Ben, dying and fading in her arms, to the back of her mind. The happiest moment of her life had turned into the worst nightmare in a single heartbeat.

“Yes. He used the life force of your dyad. But a Force dyad doesn’t work like a vessel for life force and the like. It’s more like a… river. It can dry out, for sure, but it’ll fill up again, eventually. As long as one of you two is still alive.”

A stray tear rolled down Rey’s cheek. She’d never been one to cry, but – along with so many other things – that had changed in those past few weeks after… _Exegol_.

Poe, Finn and Rose had travelled to Naboo and were helping to build up a new democracy. Only Chewie had stayed with her, here on Takodana.

“But how do I _use_ the dyad to bring him back?” Her voice was broken and desperate; the glimmer of hope she’d felt on Tattooine when she’d seen Ben’s Force ghost had vanished again. There was only the empty, dark void on the other end of their Force bond. It hurt. Not like the phantom pain that people with amputated limbs spoke of; it felt as if a piece of her own soul had been cut away. The pain was not physical, but it was agony, nevertheless.

Maz gently placed her hand over Rey’s on the table and looked at her, the same way she’d looked at her when they’d first met and Luke’s lightsaber had called to Rey. Ben’s lightsaber.

Maz wasn’t able to wield the Force, but she had some other kind of connection to it. Rey never really understood it.

“What I found out is this: the soul is always chained to the place of death, just as it is tied to you, as well.”

“So, I have to go back to Exegol?”

“Yes. When you’ve arrived there, you have to go to the exact place of Ben’s death.”

Rey swallowed to get rid of the lump that was forming in her throat.

“That’s the easy part.” Maz patted her hand. “Once you’ve done that, you will have to cross over into the realm of death; a place where only the soul can roam. What I’m saying is: you must split your soul from your body and leave the body behind. Then, you must find him, of course, which can be difficult in the realm of death. And I assume the dead wouldn’t like one of their own to leave. Take care of the other wandering souls, Rey.”

“Why would you think that? They’re dead after all, so why would they care if Ben left?”

Maz shrugged. “I’m certain they wouldn’t be happy to see leaving was possible – just not for them. Most beings would rather be alive than dead. If they can’t leave, why should anyone else? Some of them might not want to see him go – or you, for that matter. You’re a Palpatine, after all.”

“No. I’m not”, Rey replied, meeting Maz’ concerned gaze.

“I’m Rey Nobody – or Rey Solo, if you asked me about my surname. I won’t take Palpatine’s name.”

“But you’re of his blood. That’s enough to stir the dead. The power coursing through you –“

“ – is mine alone.” Rey wouldn’t accept her lineage. She’d found her family, and it was Ben. Maz finally shrugged.

Rey didn’t really feel nervous about the prospect of a bunch of ghosts hunting her down in the realm of death. They were dead; there was nothing they could do to her. But the problem of _entering_ the realm gave her chills.

“How do I do it? Split my soul from my body, I mean.” It sounded a lot more difficult now than it had back on Tattooine when Maz had told her she’d found a way to bring Ben back.

“Meditate.”

“I’ve meditated before”, Rey quipped. “I’ve never left my body on these occasions.”

“What do you think happens when you’re meditating? The feeling of levitating, of dissolving into your surroundings? Your soul just never took the step away from your body. Meditate, and then you’ll know what to do next.” Maz shrugged, shoving the plate with the vegetable pastries towards Rey. “The path ahead of you, my girl, is not an easy one, so at least don’t face it with a growling stomach. It could be your last meal. You might not return.”

“It doesn’t matter. If I return, I’ll return with Ben. If I don’t… I guess then I’ll be with him, too. I can’t be without him, Maz. I just can’t.”

Maze nodded, sadness clouding her old eyes behind the glasses. “I’m so sorry, Rey. I saw it, you know, when the Skywalker lightsaber called to you. I saw your vision, too.”

“Love will bring him back for a second time”, Rey replied, more to reassure herself. Maz was right, it had been his love for her that brought Ben back to the light. Now, it would be her love for him that brought him back to life.

“There’s another thing. A warning.” Maz’ grip on her hand tightened. “If you’ve found him, and you’re on your way out of the realm of death – never look back, Rey. Do you understand? Whatever happens, _never look back_. Else, you’ll never return. You’ll both be dead, and worse.”

Rey nodded her head. Whatever could be worse than death, she didn’t find the nerve to ask, and she didn’t plan on finding out, either.

***

Rey hadn’t wasted another minute on Takodana. She didn’t need the Sith wayfinder anymore; the route to Exegol wasn’t something she’d ever forget.

As she landed the Falcon – Chewie had insisted to accompany her, but what lay ahead was something she’d have to do on her own, she knew – shiver rushed up and down her spine. Nothing had changed here. The place was as evil as ever, she could feel the darkness coursing through the Force. Even the sky above was dark, just as the last time she was here. Not even the sunlight touched this place.

Shrieking flashes lit up her path towards the ancient Sith citadel. Memories haunted her like evil spirits as she made her way towards it and then down into the abyss, her new shimmering lightsaber emitting a yellow blaze that somehow felt a little reassuring. 

Rey knew Palpatine was dead for good, but she could feel his vicious presence still roaming the place, dark whispers mingling with the shrill screeches of the flashes outside that reverberated from the cold stone walls. Rey couldn’t stop shivering; the odd coldness seemed to radiate off every stone and crumb of dust in the ancient citadel.

“I’m coming for you, Ben”, she whispered, barely audible above all the other strange voices echoing through the halls. “I’ll get you out of there.”

Finally, she’d reached the place where _it_ had happened. She still refused to think of Ben as dead. If she would, she’d break down on the spot.

 _No one is ever really gone_ , she thought.

She walked into the hall – the throne room, the laboratory, whatever it was called. The tanks with Snokes in various states of decay were still arranged in a circle around the entrance, and Rey concentrated hard to focus on the stone-carved throne in front of her, at the opposite end of the hall. She wished Ben’s Force ghost was with her, but she knew he couldn’t control his appearing. Yet. She would get him back before he had time to learn it.

Rey stopped right in front of the empty throne. It was as huge as she remembered it. With a frown, she noticed that the whispering all around her had stopped. Aside from her echoing steps on the floor and the buzzing of her still ignited lightsaber, silence ruled the place. An eerie silence, sending another wave of chills through her. She wished back the evil whispers.

After a moment of hesitation, she let herself sink to the floor cross-legged, turned off the saber and placed it on the stone beside her. The ground was freezing, and it was hard to concentrate on anything with the heartbeat hammering in her chest, so loud she thought it must have had an echo of its own.

It cost a lot to close her eyes, to bring herself into a state of utter vulnerability in a place like this. But there wasn’t really an alternative.

“Breathe”, a voice whispered to her, and she started, barely containing a scream. Bur Rey knew the voice.

“L-Luke?”, she called out, her voice breaking the silence blanketing the halls.

“Couldn’t leave my last Padawan alone now, could I?”

A wave of gratefulness and relieve rushed through her.

“Close your eyes, Rey. Breathe, and reach out – just as I taught you to. Reach out with your heart, and let it carry you to him.”

Rey complied, closing her eyes again. The knowledge that there was a friend among all those evil spirits brought her the strength she needed to let go.

It felt exactly like the lesson with Luke on Ahch-To: Rey could feel the Force, the light and the darkness, swirling through her and all around her. Was it like this if you became one with the Force? Did Ben feel like this in the moment of his death?

It was painless. Rey felt like a feather floating in a warm breeze. She could feel how her soul split away from her body effortlessly, and she knew she could take a step forward, leaving her body behind, just as Maz had told her. She took that step, and simultaneously, the peaceful, floating feeling subsided. Coldness seeped through her, blanketing her, as if she’d just jumped into a frozen lake.

She gasped and turned. Her body was a few metres behind her, lying on the cold stone floor. Dead. It didn’t matter. She needed to find Ben. A shimmering light had appeared in front of her, and she knew she had to go through to get to the realm of death.

Rey stepped into the shimmering blaze ahead of her. She could feel she was leaving Exegol and the Living World behind, on the other side of the bridge of flowing light. Rey stepped out of the blaze again. She had entered the realm of death.

Her gaze travelled over the curious landscape. She didn’t know what exactly she’d expected to find, but it wasn’t this.

Rey was standing in a field of flowers that stretched out toward the horizon on every side of her, below a vast night sky. Not a single star shone in its inky blackness. The flower’s stems reached up to her knees, their small white and blue blossoms emitting a soft glow as if she was standing in a field of stars herself, as if all the missing stars from the empty night sky had fallen down onto the meadow below, and had turned into those blooming flowers.

It was the most beautiful scene Rey had ever seen. In the distance she could see the soft blaze of light she’d walked through – the bridge connecting the two realms of life and death. 

“Ben”, she whispered hesitantly. “Ben, I’m here. I’ve come to bring you back.”

Utter silence ruled the place. No insects, no burbling spring of water, no voices except from her own. Not even a heartbeat pounding in her ears – her heart had stopped, for now, left behind in her dead body on Exegol.

“Ben!”, she called out again, this time much louder. “Ben, I’m here. Please, if you can hear me… come back to me.”

Her voice broke. What if he couldn’t hear her? What if –

“Sweetheart.”

Rey whirled around as she heard his voice.

He was standing a few feet behind her, his silhouette still shimmering blue at the edges, just as she’d seen him on Tattooine. But he seemed more… transparent. Less corporeal but rather like fine wisps of blue smoke forming a figure.

She stormed toward him, pulling him into an embrace – but her hands reached right through his chest. He _was_ nothing more than tendrils of smoke. Finally, terror flooded her.

“Ben?”

“I’m here. But I’m not like you, anymore. I’m… well, dead. As you know.” Panic crossed his face as he realized what her being here meant. “Rey, are you dead?”

She shook her head. “Not yet, but I’ll be soon if we don’t hurry. I’m here to bring you back with me. I told you that Maz has found a way.”

“I couldn’t believe it.”

“We need to cross through the light.” Rey turned around and pointed at the light in the distance, but something had changed. The blinding flare had lost some of its intensity, as if it was slowly dimming. Which meant that she was in the process of dying, herself. 

“We need to go now”, she repeated, reaching out her hand towards Ben.

The glow of the flowers all around them caught in his hair, tinting it white and blue.

“Will you take my hand, Ben?”, she asked. “Will you come back with me?”

“I’ll always be with you”, he told her, and touched his palm against hers. It felt like touching fog – not really there, but you could feel it, anyway.

As they turned towards the distant light, the silence of the meadow was suddenly broken by a chorus of whispers and shrieks. The dead were speaking to her, just as Maz had predicted.

Each of those voices sounded sharp like ice crystals, sending dread through her.

_You can never leave this place._

_He’ll forever be trapped here._

_You cannot take him with you, stupid girl._

_You will fail. You will fail him._

The shrieks grew louder and shriller as Rey made her way towards the bridge of light.

But something was… wrong.

She couldn’t feel the cool touch of Ben’s hand in hers anymore. Rey stopped dead in her tracks, the voices rising all around her, howling like a storm.

“Ben?”, she asked.

 _Whatever happens – don’t turn. Don’t look back, or you’ll be both lost forever_. That was Maz’ warning. But Ben wasn’t there beside her anymore. She couldn’t feel his touch, his presence. He was gone. She needed to turn, to search for him.

 _Rey_ , the voices behind her shrieked. Was that Ben’s voice? Or were the dead playing tricks on her?

 _“Rey, don’t leave me here.”_ Ben. It was Ben’s voice; she was sure now.

_“Rey, please come back for me. Come back.”_

The light in front of her was fading quickly. If she didn’t cross now, it would be too late. But she wouldn’t cross it without Ben.

“Ben, please take my hand”, she whispered, still staring ahead, her gaze trained on the wavering light ahead while she raised her hand behind her.

_“I can’t reach you, Rey. They’re holding me back.”_

Ben needed her help. It _was_ Ben. She would always recognize his soft, dark voice. Rey started to turn around, when someone in front of her whispered, “Rey, no.” A woman’s voice, soft and calm among the shrill cries.

A figure appeared in front of her. Her dress was a gleaming white, her long hair cascaded down over her back and shoulders in brown curls that were sprinkled with tiny white blossoms. A crown of flowers was woven around her head. She was beautiful. The intense gaze from her dark eyes met Rey’s, and Rey was sure she’d seen those eyes before. Ben. The woman had the same mesmerizing dark eyes as Ben and Leia.

“Padme”, Rey greeted her.

The voices seemed to grow even louder now.

 _“REY!”_ , she heard Ben’s screams behind her.

“Do not turn”, Padme warned her. Her voice was soft, reminding Rey of wind chimes in a summer breeze.

_“Rey, will you leave me? Like you did in the throne room, when I reached out my hand towards you? You left, once. Will you do it again?”_

“I won’t leave him behind”, Rey told the dead queen.

“It’s not him, Rey. It’s a trick. If you turn, you’ll be trapped here forever, and you’ll curse both of you. You need to go through the light – Ben will be with you. I promise.”

The voices were angry now, and the air seemed to be charged with electricity. The first few flashes flickered across the empty night sky.

Rey glanced at the light, which had dimmed into a soft, wavering glow. It would be extinguished in a matter of seconds.

 _“I gave my life for you. I gave up everything to let you live, and you’ll leave me behind.”_ Ben’s voice was the loudest of all, each of his words a stab through her heart. It must be a trick. _Her_ Ben would never talk to her like this.

“I’ll never leave you behind, Ben”, she whispered in return, then made her choice. She sprinted towards the flickering light.

As soon as her fingertips touched the wavering shimmer, it glowed anew, wrapping around her like a blanket woven of sunlight.

***

Rey woke with a gasp, still lying on the freezing stone floor. The shrieking flashes of lightning flickered in from outside – she was back in the citadel on Exegol. Her heart was hammering wildly in her chest. She was alive.

“Ben!”, Rey choked as she sat up, still trembling. Her gaze fell on a form on the floor a few metres ahead of her, and she crawled towards it, her legs too weak to stand up.

“BEN!”

It was him. He didn’t look transparent anymore, there was no more blue hue surrounding him, no more tendrils of smoke obscuring his form.

He lay on the back, as still as a corpse, his ink-black strands fanned out around his head like a halo of darkness.

As Rey reached him, she placed a shaking hand on his chest, right over the place where his heart should be beating. She couldn’t feel anything.

“BEN!”, she cried out again, sobs shaking her body as she let herself sink to the floor beside him, her hand grasping his ice cold one. She hadn’t turned. Had she left him behind? But then why was there a body?

“Ben, please. Please come back to me. I need you. _I love you_.” Her voice broke at the last sentence.

“Rey?”

She barely heard his brittle whisper.

Rey raised her head – and met Ben’s gaze. His beautiful, dark gaze that never failed to capture her, from the very first time he’d lifted his mask.

Another sob escaped her throat – this time, one of pure joy.

“Oh stars! I – I thought I lost you!”, she choked, pulling him in for a kiss, just as she had only a few weeks ago, after he’d given his life to bring her back. He returned the kiss, his hands tangling in her buns, holding her close enough that she could feel his heart, hammering as wild as hers. He didn’t feel cold anymore, she noticed.

“You did it, Rey”, he told her between kisses, a radiant smile lighting up his features that sent her heart into a frenzy. “You did it.”

“I heard your voice! I wanted to turn, but then your grandmother appeared and told me to go through the light and then I saw you here, on the floor, but I couldn’t feel your heartbeat and I thought I’d failed…” She blurted, but Ben pulled her in for another kiss. A wave of dizziness and warmth spread through her as their lips touched again.

“Can we leave this place, please?”, she finally whispered, their foreheads touching, his hands still tangled in her hair that had come lose and fell over her shoulders. They were both panting.

He nodded.

“I brought the Falcon”, Rey told him. “Maz and Chewie are waiting for us on Takodana.”

Ben suddenly seemed a little unsure. “Do they even _want_ to see me? Uncle Chewie…”

He stopped mid-sentence. Rey knew what he wanted to say, anyway; she could feel his fear flooding through the Bond. The fear of being rejected. Chewie was all that was left of his family – Chewie, and Rey.

“They’ll be happy to see you, Ben. Chewie … he mourned you. He still loves you, Ben. He’s still your uncle Chewie. I promise.” 

***

As they entered the Falcon’s cockpit together, Ben’s resolve faltered for a few seconds, before he walked towards the co-pilot’s seat.

“No, no, no”, Rey told him, blocking his way. “It’s your ship now, Ben.”

Ben shook his head, avoiding her gaze. “It’s not. My father –“

“ – would be proud of you, Ben. Han would’ve wanted you to fly the Falcon.”

Rey reached up, gently touching his cheek to make him look at her.

“You’re Ben Solo, and this is _your_ ship.”

Still hesitant, Ben sat down on the pilot’s seat, his hand gently touching the set of golden dice that hung from the low ceiling in front of him as he took a deep, wavery breath. Then, he looked at Rey, and there was nothing but love in his teary-eyed gaze.

Rey reached out her hand towards him, like she’d done on Ahch-To, and on the meadow beyond the starless sky. Just as he’d done in the throne room, after he’d killed Snoke to save her.

He gently took her small hand in his. She could feel him; his warm skin, his pulse. It was the first time their hands really touched – without the Force, both of them alive, both of them finally on the same side, together – and Rey knew they’d never let go of each other.

“I love you”, Ben whispered.


End file.
